March 2007 Newsletter
The Children of Domestic Violence
There is hardly a day in our community in which we don’t have an occurrence of domestic violence which results in the police intervening in some way into a family’s life. Normally, these situations are reported only when they have become so violent that injuries occur, or when it appears to the victims that there are no other alternatives for safety. Sadly, far too many situations in which help and services could actually work as an early intervention never get reported. Often, the awareness or suspicions of domestic violence happening, and reporting it, are two very different things.
Most people are hesitant to get involved, don’t want to act on assumptions, want to respect privacy and rely on the belief that if it’s really that bad, the victims themselves will seek help. We are going to focus for a minute on the victims who may not be able to seek help, the children who live with domestic violence in their lives.
Court statistics show that over half of all adult female victims of domestic violence live in households with children under the age of 12. Research within this group of children has shown that in homes where domestic violence in present, 90% of the children realizes what is going on. Over 3.5 million kids last year experienced domestic violence in their lives. Some of them were right here in our cities.
As a police department we realize that there are also adult male victims of domestic violence. We see an average of 4 to 5 a year and know that this number is greatly underreported due to embarrassment and societal perceptions.
Factually, 50% of the adult males who assault their wives or girlfriends; also abuse their children. These national statistics are also borne out locally as the homes we have responded to on domestic violence calls are very often the same homes we later visit with the Division of Child and Family Services. Children of abusive families are far more likely to exhibit the behavioral and physical health problems, such as depression, run-away, anxiety, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide attempts, and sexual violence.
The smallest children living in domestic violence homes often don’t understand what is happening even though they are very aware of it. They will often blame themselves, thinking that they must have done something wrong. They may become withdrawn, non-verbal, clingy and whiny. Older kids may experience sleep disorders, nightmares, appetite loss, lose interest in favored activities, avoidance of friends and relationships. Teenagers may experience all of these same things as well as delinquent behavior such as drugs, alcohol and tobacco use, academic failure, drop out, and violence.
Remember that these are the kids who interact each day with your children, and the stresses they are under and all of the issues they are faced with, affect your child and our community. Talk with your children, know their friends and show everyone kindness, compassion and understanding. Delicately approach people whom you believe may be at risk and please report to us known incidents of violence.
Just for perspective we had almost 300 primary and secondary victims of domestic violence in Pleasant Grove and Lindon last year. Understanding and confronting Domestic Violence creates a very fine line to tread, but we all need to work together to protect those who may not be able to protect themselves.
Captain Cody Cullimore, Pleasant Grove/Lindon Police Department
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