September 2007 Newsletter
Domestic Violence Really Happens Here
The very thought of someone who has to live in fear in their own home is a concept that is hard to grasp. I guess that I’ve been lucky in my life to have avoided its direct effect on me. Every day however, people in our community are not so lucky, they live in situations where violence, abuse, threats and police responses are commonplace. Their kids live there too. It seems that there are no boundaries for these violent situations which affect every economic class, every age group, every marital status and every race.
There are some common themes to the violence, things which seem to be contributing factors. Top of the list in our city, as always, are the old standby’s, drugs and alcohol. Also high on the list are stress, depression, economic hardship, jealousy, and mental illness. All of these other factors it seems are fanned to a flame when they are present in combination with drugs and/or alcohol.
Denial for us is a major hurdle to overcome as a community. In case you have a hard time believing that this happens here, I have included some actual, direct quotes from police reports. All of these incidents happened right here in our little city within the past 30 days.
“Blank had pushed her to the ground, jumped on her and hit her” Alcohol involved both parties, children present.
“Blank used a wooden rod and hit blank on her right calf 3 times leaving large red welts.” Alcohol involved both parties, children present.
“Officer blank was first on the scene and witnessed the two of them throwing punches at each other.” Alcohol, financial
“I said, I don’t want to argue and blank hit me with an open hand across my face twice.” Jealousy/Financial
“Blank threw and shoved blank to the ground and tried to throw blank down the stairs.” Drugs and alcohol.
“Blank tried to make a phone call and blank took the phone away from her and broke it in half.” Financial, Children present.
“Blank could see the girl on the ground and blank walking to the house with a child. The girl got up and followed him hitting him repeatedly on the back.” Jealousy, Child present.
“Blank hit blank on the neck and kicked him both in the groin and legs.” Drugs and alcohol.
“Blank hit her in the face. They were wrestling around and blank’s glasses were broken. She admitted to ripping his shirt.” Jealousy/Sexual, Alcohol.
What can we do to stop this? The first suggestion is to protect yourself. Talk with someone you trust: a friend or relative, a neighbor, coworker or religious advisor. Tell your physician, nurse, psychiatrist or therapist if bad things are happening to you. Call a local domestic violence agency. Call the police if you are in danger. Remember, you know your situation better than anyone else.
The second suggestion is to be open, approachable and aware of what is going on around you. Observe behavior and warning signs in friends and neighbors that concern you and then take some action. Warning signs may include obvious marks or bruises, withdrawal from normal behaviors, increased drinking or drug use, cancellation of invitations or social events, verbal arguments, children who suddenly can’t come over or play anymore and stay close to or in the home or obvious displays of fear.
Remember, delicately approach the person as a friend if it’s safe to do so. Contact a social service agency like DCFS (1-800-897-5465) or the Police Department (801-785-3506 or 911) to get them help if you don’t think it’s safe.
We have to do something before it’s too late. Someone you care about may be surviving every day waiting for someone to talk with.
Captain Cody Cullimore, Pleasant Grove/Lindon Police
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